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Relationships: The art of compromise

1173221_42315040Known cartoon drawing shows a bride and groom lying in their beds, dreaming the dream of their love: He sees that how she gives him a luxurious breakfast in bed, and at the same time, she dreams that he brings her to bed luxurious meal. The dream of course is unrealistic. Anyone who meets the title ‘married’ know that love is first of all work and only then can we talk about a treat. Bachelor, understand that it is not feasible but continue to indulge in a dream where everyone gets to be the center of a great love.

Look again at the picture above, it is simply impossible; You can not lie down at the same time and get up, also get and give, these physical limitations. This restriction is not only technical, it describes a state of mind. A perspective on those in front of me. On the other. Is it my attention to my needs, or the needs of others? Am I receiving or giving? Is my giving it to others or for me? Is When I give I automatically expect anything in return?

True, in the end there is no giving without receiving, this is the circle of giving and receiving, the question is where my attention.
If you don’t have anything to say to him, you could always find topics and prepare something. Conversation will bring you together.

In a relationship between me and the others had to learn the others to figure out what his needs. What he likes to eat in the morning? What is like to drink? Does he even want to have breakfast in bed? What does he want now? Where he is? Or did he want from me something now? Maybe all he wants right now is to be alone? Is luxurious breakfast is what he wants or what I want ?!

The dream of a luxurious breakfast is a personal dream of one. The dream of those who love to eat breakfast in bed, and that’s him one of the most luxurious that. This is what he wishes for himself. It is his will. Is it the desire of others ?!

Even if I know others closely for years, at this moment I do not know where he is. What he carries. So my starting point it should be a place of learning and a place of knowledge. And here was my choice, my desire to see and hear him as he is, not as I think I know it.

Do I see myself and then hear the other side,

Or I’m leaving my seat, walked to the other

And sees it as is?

This second view is not an easy task. This is a task that requires me to put myself aside and turn my attention just for others. Do not judge him, not advise him, not to him nor to think for him. Just listen to what he brings.

That in the words of philosopher Emmanuel Levinas, if we want to see and hear, the other is always new.

True love is a constant battle with yourself to take the time and pamper your partner.

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